life can throw alot of shit at you aye?... and at the wrong time as well...
i'm sick of hearing people saying 'that's just life' or 'deal with it its all part of life'...
if that is indeed 'life'...then i dont want it...
i dont want a life full of lies, screaming, curses, insecurity...depression..
i dont want a life like this... nor do i need it..

when will i be able to break free?....

new plan!

okay...

so the original plan was to blog very often.. if not everyday so that Nam can check up on me via blogs.

but!!

there is now a change of plans!!!

i've decided to send him daily emails instead...

does that sound weird? =(

i start the email off in the morning... and i just keep adding to it as the day goes by >.< so in other words..Nam has an essay for an email to read =)
i jsut hope he reads them in the correct order...hehe

a photo of me and Nam since i miss him so much...

Nam left for the states

Hey Guys..
i'm blogging a very lonely blog tonight... i just got back from the airport after seeing Nam off... I'm going to miss him so much... I'm not going to hear from him... How will i know if he got there safely?...how will he contact me if he's troubled?... what if he gets sick?.. I say all this but the truth is.. I need him more than he needs me =(... I dont like being apart from him... he's so far away now.. I can't call him just to hear his voice.. can't message him to see what he's up to..if he's thinking about me or not... I wish i could re-do our farewell... I was so out of it... I'm so sorry Nam.. If i could re-do it.. I wouldn't have cried when i wasn't suppose to... I would've seen you off with a smile saying 'Take care' and 'Have fun'...maybe even a 'Come back to me safely'.... but no... i was too frozen to say anything... i should've hugged you that much tighter.. said 'I Love You'...gave you a kiss and waved you off with a smile... I'm sorry i couldn't do that for you.... it was just..such abrupt parting.. i knew it was coming but still... i dont like that you're so far away.. i feel so incomplete now.. so vulnerable.. who'll be there to laugh at me when i do something stupid now? =( even though i gave you a bad farewell...even though i'll miss you terribly... i still wish you have a safe and fun holiday. Make lots of new friends and make heaps of good memories... I'm sure you'll have lots of stories for me when you get back =) I love you so much hon.. take care of yourself... come back quick =) i'm here waiting for you...

I'm at Nam's house =)

HELLO!!!

its been 3 months since my last blog? lol

how've you all been? xD

i'm just in my last week of school now...have all these tests to do...

did my 3 unit maths just yesterday >.<

and i have modern history and chemistry practical tomorrow as well.... two tests...yay..

and i also have to help out with the school's talent quest tomorrow as well...

not to mention having to rush to bao's house right after school so i can go to the airport to see off Nam =(

i have one busy day tomorrow...

Nam's going America for the whole of my holidays >.<

even though i'll miss him terribly..

i hope he has the bestest fun in America and makes lots of new friends

and will have heaps and heaps of stories to tell me when he gets back =)

guess i'll just have to mass study for my trials during holidays? hopefully...hahaha

well since i'm at Nam's house right now..

i'm going to make Nam finish off this blog xDD

since the lazii bum has taken soooo long to write up a blog on OUR page lol

okay... he has convinced me that he'll finish it off tonight..once i've gone home =="..

i will be back to check later tonight!!! or tomorrow night..might have to study tonight..lol

but i will check!!

NAM HERE!!!

here to finish of this blog that my dear Rachel had started whilst at my place today, its been a while hasn't it, but im here, whats been happening eh? not much really. the usual i guess, uni home, and RACHEL in between =) i love her. yes, so you can see, im heading off to the states tomorrow night, Rachel will come and see me off =) , unfortunately it is for her whole holidays, but hopefully she'll study hard, and get really good marks for her trial, which im sure she will, cause she is a smart little cookie =) smarter than say Nam =P i know she'll miss me terribly, and i'm going to miss her terribly too, if not more =( but i am there to make new friends, and visit the states, it will be fun, but i'll never forget my poor little baby, at home studying so very hard. i'll be sure to get her a little present =) so baby came over to pack my stuff. though there wasnt much to pack cause bloody mummy put everything in the wash, lol fail bro. so we spent alot of the time having fun =) it was nice to have her over again, havent had her over in so long, also whilst dear Rachel was typing this up, she also had her first bowl of none other than MIGORENG =) it was strangely addictive was it not? =P *sigh i am going to the states tomorrow, i know baby Rachel will be sad, but i also know she wants me to go have fun. i'll miss her terribly, but i'll try have fun. will take pictures and show them to baby, and tell her all about my adventures in the states =) i am looking forward to the trip, though i can say im a little reluctant to leave. it'll be hard to leave for two weeks, but hopefully i will keep in touch with baby. i'll think of something. i always do right =P well au revoir my dear audience =). i'll be back soon. i love you my dear. you don't understand how much. but know that as i am away, i will always be thinking of you. I LOVE YOU RACHEL!!!